Van de week kwam ik een heel mooi geschreven stuk tegen die mijn hart liet spreken.
Lees hieronder het stuk.
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February 25, 2012
Hi Georgi,
I wrote the below “story” back in August of 2011. I had just come out of an intense personal relationship, and I was obviously in a place of questioning the reason for things, as my “logical” mind likes to do. In the middle of the work day, I simply stopped what I was doing, and started typing. I’m not saying it is a masterpiece or anything, just felt I would share it with you. Longtime Friends
by Lad Hudac, Copyright 2011
It is another beautiful day in life of the mind. The birds sing. The sun shines… But, something feels slightly different today.
The birds, the trees, the grass and the sun have always appeared completely external to the mind, yet it begins to notice that it has started to feel different about the world external today. Things seem to be more connected.
Every time the wind blows or a bird chirps, the mind can feel a connection to some aspect of itself. The mind races to understand how such a thing can be possible. It remembers everything it has learned over the years. Vibrations? Frequencies? Surely science could elucidate this situation. Perhaps it missed a lesson or two along the way?
Meanwhile, its long-time, and oft silent friend, the heart, sits idle. It feels and sends love and compassion for the mind’s struggle. It does no more.
The heart has a secret. The heart knows the answers to the mind’s questions. It cannot force the answers on the mind. That would be against the rules. It can only send it love. And it does, always, even if the mind takes no notice. It is a transmuting love. A love that, once the mind chooses, will modify its own wiring to accept what was once an “impossibility”. The heart knows nothing is impossible, but it must keep this secret till the correct moment.
The mind has thought about the state of “impossibility” before. Some things definitely are impossible. One day, the mind has a revelation. It realizes that if it deems something “impossible” then perhaps its perspective is not wide enough. The heart springs to life and flutters in agreement with this thought. The mind takes notice of its friend’s sudden sign of life. For as long as it can remember, the mind has never understood the heart completely. Always quiet. Never pondering. Never doing anything. Just sitting there. Never had the mind felt threatened by the heart.
There were times long ago when the heart would try and affect the actions of the mind. But the heart never tried hard enough to win over the mind. To the mind, the heart was incapable of matching wits. A lesser entity.
Feeling confident with itself, the mind inquires about any “knowledge” the heart may possess. With slight sarcasm, it asks,”What secrets are you holding, my friend?’
At this point, the heart opens its mystery a little bit more to its long time counterpart. At first, the mind scoffs at what it sees.
“Ha! Everything is love?! Lies! You speak lies!”
The heart maintains its position. Unwavering, unconditionally loving.
“You are weak heart! You will get hurt if you keep feeling this way.”
“No wonder you never make an appearance! Ha! You have probably been hurt many times before. I do not blame you for being the way you are”.
The heart merely responds with silent and assuring love. The mind laughs to itself. It thinks about everything it knows and has learned about the world that is definitely NOT love.
“Ohhh, heart, my friend. Someday you will understand the ways of the world. I will keep an eye on you in the meantime, but sooner or later you will have to open your own eyes.”
Time passes.The mind has never forgotten the day the heart shared its secret with it. It does not admit this to the heart, of course. A good mind must be “prideful”, but not arrogant. The mind wonders,
“How could one be so sure of itself without any outward sign of research or study?”
The thinking continues. Finally, the mind asks of the heart one day,
“How do you know everything is love?”
The heart then opens even more than the last time. The mind is shocked by a timeless feeling of bliss and complete happiness like it has never known before.
“Time” stands still. All else fails to register. For a brief moment, everything the mind has ever tried to understand makes perfect sense. The world seems, and more importantly, feels completely perfect. The mind cannot even argue with itself that this feeling is referred to as “Love”. The feeling then disappears as quickly as it came. The mind is left reeling.
“What day is it? Where am I?”
It wonders how it lost track of “time”, or its “place”?
“This is not possible!”, it exclaims.
Later, held within its own privacy, the mind admits that the feeling was the most amazing it has ever felt. More amazing than that promotion. More amazing than that $500 meal. More amazing than meeting its first life companion. The mind knows this for certain, it MUST find that feeling again!
The mind retracts inward into its own solitude and sets to work on figuring out how to find that feeling again. It yearns for that feeling and struggles to remember the variables in place that allowed such a feeling to be experienced. Eventually, it asks the heart:
“Was it something we ate?”
The heart does not answer.
“Oh! We slept enough the night before, finally! That’s it!”
The heart does not answer.
“Oh..! Oh…! I have it now. It was my imagination! Yep! That’s it.”
The heart does not answer.
Tired and dejected, the mind returns to its musings. It feels frustration with the heart, but an odd draw to it. The mind realizes that it may have to ask for help on this one. At once, the mind flexes its own muscles, crushing that idea and pounding it into submission.
“I do NOT need any help to figure this one out!”
Time passes. Seasons come and go. Relationships start. Relationships end. Careers begin. Careers terminate. And books, ohhh, the books. Too many to count. Yet, that feeling eludes the mind. The mind has worked every possible permutation and combination it can think of to re-attain that feeling. Success has been virtually non-existent. The mind knows its weakness. Try as it might, it can never kid itself.
Countless theories have been established and disproved by its untenable wit and ability. Its resolve has NEVER let it down. With fortified resilience, the mind concludes that the answer MUST be somewhere! Time passes…
In all, the years have been good to the mind, but, in its most private moments, the mind admits that it is unsatisfied. It thinks of its long-time, and all-too-silent, counterpart.
“You are a formidable conundrum, old friend. Try as I have, I cannot figure you out.”
The heart says nothing, but sends love back to the mind. Time passes…
The mind finds itself once again in deep introspection one day. It thinks about the heart and its silence. Ohhhhh, that silence… Short of patience and long on desire, the mind becomes agitated. Suddenly, the mind begins attacking itself.
“Who the hell do you think you are?! You think you are so good, don’t you?! Soooo, smart! An answer for everything in your world! What the hell do you know?!”
The assassination of its own character carries on for a lengthy period. Never have worse things been said to the mind. Finally, when the mind feels it has no more energy to give, When it feels that the solution will NEVER be attained, it poses a simple question to the heart.
“How can you be so sure of yourself when you don’t even appear to have a single thought?”
At this single and instant moment, the mind’s world fills with brilliant white light. ”Darkness” was never perceived again.